O saptamana ingrozitor de trista... o fetita care s-a prapadit mult prea devreme ... un suflet frumos care nu si-a gasit linistea pana nu a plecat dintre noi. O colega draga mie care sufera neimaginabil pentru ca si-a pierdut copilul. M-am trezit luni dimineata pe la 5. Am citit un mesaj care m-a lasat fara suflare ... l-am recitit si nu mi-a venit sa cred ca fetita ei draga e data disparuta. Am mers la munca si am hotarat sa facem niste afise si sa mergem sa ajutam la cautarea ei. Eram determinata si plina de speranta. As fi facut orice sa ajut ... As fi mers prin locurile sale preferate, as fi strigat cat m-ar fi tinut plamanii numai sa o gasim ... Am ajuns la sectia de politie cand un ofiter insotit de alte 4, 5 persoane au intrat intr-o incapare mare. I-am vazut ochii inlacrimati si privirea pierduta ... I-a cerut permisiunea sa vorbeasca in fata noastra sau sa ne pofteasca afara ... Dansa ne-a vrut cu ea acolo ... si vestea trista a cazut ca un trasnet... Fetita sa draga a fost gasita fara suflare ... A fost cea mai trista veste pe care am auzit-o in cei 30 de ani. Am inceput sa plangem incontrolabil cand mama cerea detalii ... Apoi s-a prabusit de durere ... Am suferit langa ea doar la gandul ca ceva i s-ar putea intampla puiului meu ... am suferit alaturi de o prietena draga al carui copil nu mai este printre noi si al carui suflet e pierdut ... Am suferit pentru ca viata e nedreapta si pentru ca uneori Dumnezeu ne pune la incercari greu de inteles ...
Astazi copilul sau frumos a avut sarbatorirea vietii printre noi, printre pamanteni. Sute de oameni au fost prezenti ... poate 6, 700 de persoane au fost in biserica. Au cantat cantecele ei preferate ... au pus un video cu zeci de poze de cand Riley era un bebelus si apoi cel mai emotionant moment a fost scrisoarea mamei pentru fetita sa ... n-a putut sa o citeasca insa in schimb a nominat o prietena sa impartaseasca gandurile sale cu toti cei prezenti ... Mi-am inghitit lacrimile de durere, de tristete, de furie pentru ca un copil asa frumos a plecat mult prea devreme ... As vrea sa am o putere magica si sa aduc putina bucurie in sufletul mamei si al celor dragi ... As vrea, as vrea, as vrea ... insa ea nu se mai intoarce. Cred ca asta e durerea suprema, durerea inegalabila ca tu ca parinte sa-ti duci copilul pe ultimul drum ...
Iubiti-va copiii mai presus de orice, ascultati-i, dedicati-le timp si multa iubire ... fiti atenti la detalii si puneti mereu intrebari pentru ca niciodata nu se stie cum puteti omite ceva foarte important.
In continuare am sa atasez cea mai emotionanta scrisoare pe care am ascultat-o, citit-o vreodata ... Scrisoarea mamei care fata ei, acum un inger ...
My dearest Riley, AKA, Monkey Butt,
Never in a million years did I imagine you would be taken from me so soon. Never did I envision having to dry my tears every minute of every day. I have cried a thousand tears for you. I have been in denial, I have been in pain, and I have been numb. I have thought about nothing else, but holding you again, kissing your perfectly shaped face again and giving you love all the days of my life.
From the time you were woven in my womb, I have loved you.
From the first kick, the first rumble in my belly, I have loved you.
From the first cry and the first dirty diaper I have loved you.
From the first bath, and the first scraped knee, I have loved you.
From the first time you called out “mommy”, I have loved you.
You gave so much love to everyone else that it made me wonder how you could give so much and still manage a smile to those that needed it the most. Everyday, I looked forward to seeing you, to hear about your day and have you ask, “How’s your day?” “Hey mom, wanna get some Dutch Bros?”
Your beauty was just as radiant inside as it was on the outside. Your dazzling smile would light up a room. How hard you worked on those perfectly shaped, bright teeth.
You gave unconditional joy to those around you and took the grief, pain and despair of others as your own. Was it too much, did you give your joy away too freely that it impaired your own?
I wonder how you could be so forgiving, loving and unconditionally happy all the time, but I now know that in doing and giving all of you, you were being you. I hope every person you encouraged, touched, loved, forgave, and gave a smile to, can one day look back and see how you loved life.
You enjoyed being a caring, loving person. You gave everyone you came in contact with hope, courage and bravery with your adventurous nature.
I will not miss our mother/daughter dates, I will not miss your smile, I will not miss your dares, I will not miss your bad grades, I will not miss your hugs, I will not miss your kisses, I will not miss your stubbornness, I will not miss your exasperated looks, I will not miss your messy room, I will not miss your extended bathroom visits, I will not miss your sweaty hands and feet, I will not miss your loving words.
I will not miss anything about you, because I will forever carry you in my heart and mind.
I will be forever thankful that God gave me you.
Until the day I stand before Jesus and see you again, I will love you a Gagillion, Reece’s pieces, my beautiful Rye-Rye.
All my love,
Mom
